The real reason why separation is so bloody hard...

My separation made me feel like a bag of nerves. Emotions, thoughts, and weird body sensations were common. Now, almost three years later, I found out why!

And it's fascinating!

Let's start in the beginning - human biology.

Our simple, beautiful survival mechanism that keeps us alive.

One day, after years of doing relationship with our favourite person, it's over. The feeling of safety is gone and replaced with a big unknown.

This sends people into a survival response, called "fight or flight".

This is why lots of doors are being slammed, voices raised, and communication fails.

After the fighting or flighting, the body then goes into freeze/ shutdown mode.

This explains the loneliness, shame, and guilt I felt, and why I didn't tell anyone about the separation.

Now, if you are unaware and do nothing, you are in danger of getting stuck in this Fight/Flight/Freeze LOOP!

No wonder separation is so complicated, hard, and challenging. We're acting to protect ourselves, as nature intended.

Are you feeling shame around your separation?

Are you thinking of leaving it all and run away?

Are you feeling lonely, not talking to friends and family?

It's your biology.

The solution is simple: it's talking with someone.

I offer a free 60min zoom chat, providing a safe space for you to share your story.

If you'd like to know more google: Polyvagal Theory.

#communication #separation #mentalhealth